3.22 - Kidney Now!
Dr. Spaceman: You know what, I’ll just remember it’s the opposite of what they say.
Milton: I’d really be more comfortable if you rewrote the forms.
Dr. Spaceman: No I’ll remember. Opposite! Opposite! Opposite!
I’ve changed into a badass adult. I have a wolf dog. I have two bad knees. And...– Tracy Jordan
Jack: Lemon, today is the first day of the rest of your life, and what is the first thing that you need to do?
Liz: I have to break up with Dennis.
Jack: And why is that?
Liz: Because he wears shirts with the Looney Tunes embroidered on them. Because he cuts his own hair. Because that one little nice thing that he does, doesn't make up for the fact that I don't want to be seen with him in public.
Jack: And if you don't break up with him now?
Liz: He'll just keep showing up at work to sell beepers. He'll just keep calling my mother to borrow money. We'll just get more and more tangled up in each others' lives until I just can't even get away and we're just like...Oh my God.
Jack: That's right, he's the Rat King! And there's only one way to break up with a rat, you have to cut him off completely. You have to stuff your heart with steel wool and tin foil. You must be ruthless, you must be absolute. Remember always, you are the exterminator. Say it!
Liz: I am the exterminator.
Jack: Say it like you mean it!
Liz: I am the exterminator!
Liz: I AM THE EXTERMINATOR!
Jack: Okay, not that loud. Shh. Shh. People are trying to work around here.
Liz: Okay, very funny, you bought a pager from Dennis. Can you take it off now please?
Jack: Oh, no, I can't. I'm expecting a call from 1983.
1.18 - Fireworks
Floyd: Wow! Hot dog times, huh?
Liz: I only eat them on special occasions.
Floyd: What’s the occasion?
Liz: I decided to eat one.
30 Rock, 3x16 Apollo, Apollo
Liz: Well Jenna, Dennis has been going around calling all the women he’s ever had sex with.
Jenna: Did you speak to him?
Jenna: Did you pretend to be me?
Liz: I did.
Jenna: Did you do an impression of me?
Liz: Of course.
Jenna: Was it British?
Liz: It was.
Jenna: First of all, the reason I have some English inflection in my speech is because I lost my virginity to the My Fair Lady soundtrack.
Jenna: Second, you guys had broken up and Dennis and I were in a very emotional place because of Hurricane Katrina.
Remember, this isn’t TGS guys. Let’s not shoot for the middle this time.– Jack Donaghy (via 30rockquotes)
Liz: They make take my dignity! But they will never take our straws!– Liz Lemon
Jenna: You're back with Dennis?
Liz: Yeah. I'm back with Dennis. Don't look at me with your eyebrows all up, it's so annoying.
Jenna: Oh, yes, I'm annoying. Not the man who honked your boobs on the Jumbo-Screen.
Liz: That was before. And it was the playoffs.
Jenna: Does he still work at that beeper store? What is it, Beeper King?
Liz: He is the King now. The old Beeper King retired. Well, technically he shot himself. But, Dennis took over, and now he's the only beeper salesman left in Manhattan, which is cool. You know, you're doing the eyebrow thing again.
Jenna: Because it's Dennis. Who are you trying to fool? This is me.
Liz: Exactly. You don't get to give dating advice. You sent a letter to Scott Peterson.
Jenna: After he died his hair and got super thin from all the stress. Are you kidding me? He was smokin'.
Now I can stand here, Brad, and bore you with numbers. I could tell you we’re...– Liz Lemon 3.17 - Cutbacks